Childbirth Class/ Hospital Tour/ Birth Un-Plan

Childbirth class has been looming over my head like a doomsday before the big, happy event.  I was soooo on the fence about taking one of these classes.  I am an information-seeker.  When faced with a problem or dilemma, I immediately go into question/answer mode.  It is actually how I process both good and bad news.  I need to have all my facts, assess the information, and then decide how I feel about things.  This can be a double-edged sword because sometimes I end up knowing too much... which leads to anxiety... which leads to more information seeking and more anxiety and a really ugly cycle that usually culminates in panic and surrender.  But anyway....  I knew it would be helpful for both of us to hear all of the gory details and have all of my fears confirmed by the professionals but I also felt like no amount of talking through it would fully prepare me for the live show in May.  I was definitely wary of the anxious spiral that may result from having too much information.

Boy was I wrong.

I mean, I am under no illusion that I am fully ready and equipped to deal with all of the fun that lies ahead of us at this time but I feel SO MUCH BETTER having gone to this course.  Here were some of the biggest benefits for me:

- The Tour:  at the very least we now know where to park, enter the hospital, and proceed on baby's birthday.   I've seen the progression of triage, labor and delivery, and postpartum rooms and have seen the location of the ORs and the nursery.  If nothing else I have a picture in my head of where I will be when she is born.  Phew. 

- The Pain Management:  I was so confused and overwhelmed by the decision to have an epidural or not and I definitely felt like it was something I needed to have heavily considered and educated myself on before game time.  I learned that each hospital seems to have their own take on epidurals, when to get them, etc... so it was helpful to know that in our situation, I can basically get one any time before the baby is out, pending any emergency situations AND I can have the dosage dialed down when its time to really get down to business.  My biggest concern about the epidural was the slowing down of the labor process and the inability to move once I had it. I'd really like this little lady to make a grand and punctual entrance into the world and while I know I have basically no control over this... at least I know that I can try to get through as much labor as possible before getting the cocktail and then get some sensation back if/when I want it.  Sign me up.  Jackpot.

- The Labor Process:  I knew there were stages and whatnot to the labor process but I really had no clue at what point you decide to show up at the hospital.  And ps. call your doctor first so they can say "come on in- I'll let them know you're on the way."  So while I am not a fan of the idea that I might be sitting at home, in pain, for hours at least now I can mentally and physically prepare for that.  Time to load up the DVR (because I'm clearly going to want to watch some TV right?) and figure out how I'm going to get through those fun hours before its go time.  Understanding this entire process will also be instrumental in helping me decide when/if it's epidural time.  The videos during this part of the lesson were particularly unsettling for me; however, I do feel better now having seen the horror of it all.  Its like ripping off a bandaid- the fear of it was much worse than the actual experience.  Stay tuned on whether this is true on delivery day as well. 

So while we are no where near prepared at home for this little girl's arrival (stay tuned for more on that), I am feeling so much more mentally and emotionally prepared for what is to come.  The peace of mind I feel now at least having some of the unknown revealed to me has been tremendously helpful.  I know there will still be plenty of surprises and I know myself well enough to know that while I need to be informed... I should not develop a "plan" because the moment that plan is unachievable, I will panic in the absence of a backup.  Sooo... my plan is to take all of my information and all of my lack of information and see what happens.  Having never given birth before, I have no clue what it will be like for me.  It seems silly to get my mind set on an idea of how it should go and have things be completely different than expected when the time comes.  I know there will still be unexpected surprises and I know that I have no clue what my body is about to experience.  But I know what I know and I know what I don't know.  

I'm good with that.